Fail.

Those who knows me know that I love to cook. And I love to bake. I do. It's so much fun to put on an apron and play Betty Crocker.

Anyway.

I cannot bake bread. I have tried. And tried. And tried. And last night, I tried again.

This was my easy, breezy recipe:

Virginia Light Rolls
Makes 16 dinner rolls
For 1 1/2- or 2- pound-loaf machines
1 cup plus 1 tablespoon milk
3 tablespoons honey
2 large eggs
6 tablespoons butter or margarine, cut into pieces
4 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons SAF yeast or 2 1/2 teaspoons bread machine yeast
4 tablespoons melted butter or margarine, for brushing

Place all the ingredients in the pan according to the order in the manufacturer’s instructions. Program for the Dough cycle; press Start. The dough ball will be soft, but add no more than 2 to 3 extra tablespoons of flour, as needed, if you think it necessary.

Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. When the machine beeps at the end of the cycle, press Stop and unplug the machine. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough in half, then roll each half into a 2- to 3- inch cylinder. With a metal dough scraper or a chef’s knife, cut the cylinder into 8 equal portions. Repeat with the second cylinder, making a total of 16 equal portions.

Shape each portion like a miniature loaf by patting it into an oval, then rolling up from a short side to make a small compact cylinder about 4 inches long. Place the rolls in two rows of 8 with their long side touching. Brush some melted butter on tops of the rolls.

Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rise at room temperature until doubled in bulk, about 45 minutes.

Twenty minutes before baking, preheat the oven to 375°F.
Place the baking sheet in the center of the oven and bake for 25 to 28 minutes, until golden brown. Remove the rolls from the pan and cool on a rack. Serve warm or cool to room temperature and reheat.

I was even using the bread machine to make the dough!

See?


And I let them rise or whatever for as long as the recipe said to. And they sort of enlarged, but they never REALLY doubled in size.

So the oven was still warm from the Oatmeal Scotchies (YUM) I made an hour before:


So I thought they extra warmth might help them rise. Nah, they just sort of cracked and looked slightly larger. And it had been double the described time, so I just baked them.

And they looked like this:


And I wanted to cry.

The taste was okay, tasted like bread. But the consistency was NOT what I had in mind.

So.

FAIL.

So.

Someone else needs to try them. I really think I might have old yeast or something. Try the recipe, please? And report back.

Just make sure your yeast is not old.