I believe we all have our primary roles. Mine is to be a mother and a wife. A helper and a nurturer. And I love both of those roles. I love being a mother, and after six years of marraige I am finally figuring out how to be a wife. Took a while, huh?
As a wife, I am a cheerleader. (See below).
When my husband has a terrible, no good, very bad day, it's up to me to make his day better (or die trying). If he's in a funk, I do my best to snap him out of it, and if he needs to cry he can cry to me. Okay, he never cries, but if he does - i'm ready for it. I would love to be cried on someday - does that make me weird? Yes.
As a woman, I am a nuturer. And I'm also a helper.
I, ahem, sometimes struggle with helping. Helping Dave sometimes means manual labor, of which I am not fond. I have non-calloused, delicate hands. I am not strong. I wilt in the sun and I....am a wuss, I guess. But I'm working on that. He needs a building partner - okay! A hand to lay some bricks - you bet! Haul branches to burn - okay! You need a helper, I will help. I certainly don't love doing it, but it gets easier the more I let go and just do it.
Most times though, he does not want help with manual labor. He just wants a partner. A companion. He wants me to sit outside while he cleans out his truck. Not my favorite activity. I have been known to whine - LOST is on! Anything is on! Do I have to??? But he doesn't need my help. He just wants company. Lots of italics there. Lots of emphasis!
So it's the same deal as above. The more I just give in, stop resisting, and do it, the more I enjoy it, helping.
I'm pretty proud it only took me six years to learn. Honestly. I'm slightly strong willed (hey - no snickering), and tried to demand equality - equal rights! Do it yourself! I do things myself! Heck - I can multitask!! But it wasn't working. I had to let go of that realize we all have roles. It was time to embrace my role as a woman - nuturer and helper.
So I did. And I am. And it's awesome.